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So, me at the beginning of 2014 fall semester....wow, so much has changed in such a small amount of time. The biggest difference by far is the breath of fresh air addition of Josh Overbay to the theatre department. The fact that Josh came in and did as much as he did is such an overwhelmingly positive change that I truly didn't expect to happen. The fact that I went from not having any experience acting in film roles summer of 2014 to being in three different films by the end of the year was just an unexpected amazing surprise that I could never have expected and yet it happened because of the opportunities presented to me by a new and very talented new film professor. Not only was I able to get time in front of the camera, I was also able to work behind the scenes and get technical hands on experience with nice professional film equipment. These experiences were invaluable in my time at LSU and honestly the last thing I expected to have happen given the fact that I had devoted a year and a half to thinking LSU had nothing to offer to me but strictly theatre experience and there would be no more than an inkling of film experience at the end of my time here. Thankfully I can now walk away from LSU with a completely different outlook. At the beggning of my time here I never would have expected to have garnered such a well rounded experience for myself. I honestly thought coming in to LSU that I would walk away with a basic understanding of theatre and film and instead I feel that I have learned so many different facets of both film and theatre. There have been classes that I've felt were a waste of time in the process, but even still, I have been able to take something away from them if only just good memories working with my peers. When I look back at me in class during January 2013 and look at myself now I find it hard to believe it's all coming to an end. That first semester the entire department and myself were in a completely different mindset. So much has changed and I'd say overall, for the better. I can say however that I wish Josh could have shown up earlier during my time here, or even more so I would wish that the film concentration would have been further established before my coming here. Honestly though, I believe everything worked out for me the best it could while I was here and really, I wouldn't change a thing. One thing that surprises me about myself is that I still allow myself to stress easily about looming projects or deadlines. I don't handle that very well, I never have. Actually stress isn't necessarily the right word. More so, I get anxious about deadlines, I really don't like to have something hovering over my head. If I have to get something done I typically do it immediately. I haven't learned to handle things that require patience over quick completion very well. While I was presented with several opportunities to prepare better for looming deadlines or projects that resulted in a bit of anxiety I typically had the mindset of "I just want to get this done" as opposed to " I look forward to completing this" which I would really like to change. While I feel coming back to college helped me get better at managing this mindset, it didn't really bring forth a change of mind that I might have liked. Regardless, my time at LSU has definitely changed me for the better and I will always look back at my time here with a fondness that I will never forget.

Yet again, I have fallen behind on my blogging duties so this one will be short and sweet. I too was a part of the movie screenings two weeks back and even though I was in several of these short films; I too recognized that there was an all too familiar theme to these movies. That of gun violence and female characters being portrayed as lynch pins in order for the male protagonists to undergo a significant character arch. I think the exception to this rule came with Heavy Eyes in which the female protagonist was the main character and she was put forth in order to progress the story. Yet even still the character was basically a pawn in which the male characters used in order to undergo a significant change. I think part of this is because the filmmakers we have in our department are mostly male, for the most part. However, I have been present in Josh's digital post production class and I have seen many wonderful films that these students produced as an assignment. The class is pretty evenly split in terms of gender and both the male and female students have put forth some wonderful films that have had both female and male protagonists that don't rely on violence or other negative stereotypical tropes to move the story forward. My conclusion is, that when the student film maker feels they have to make a poignant serious film they need strong images of violence, alcohol abuse etc in order to get the point across. Yet, when they feel there is less on the line in terms of what's expected of them I think they tend to make more lighthearted films or at least less violent or depressing films. Anyway, I too have been very impressed with the young filmmakers I've come to know and proudly worked with over the last two years and I hope to see more of their work on the big screen in the future.

Artists Break or Breaking Point:

Well, another late one coming at ya....sorry again for my tardiness on this post, I have been quite busy with oh so many film projects that I just seem to neglect some of my duties in the process. The reason I titled this post the way I did is because I feel like the moments in between the work are the moments that truly challenge the artist the most. Because these moments can be healthy breaks that allow for the clearing of the mind and problems long enough to clear the annoyances that may hinder. Or they can be unhealthy if abused or even misused or under appreciated. The issue for me is as I mentioned in class Monday; I can't seem to fully enjoy my downtime, yet I still take advantage of it by using the time as a release to just do something that can be mindlessly entertaining. More often than not though I find myself feeling guilty that I've spent so much time devoted to nothingness and the lack of productivity makes me feel like I have wasted so much time that I won't be able to get back or make up for. Now, this may seem to be a bit harsh, but I can't seem to allow myself to completely enjoy this time because deep down I know that I really should be a little more productive and not put off responsibilities. I have gotten better about allotting the right amount of time for both business and play, but more often than not I feel as if I allow the playtime to take on a certain fleeting feeling that makes it seem so very precious that any interruption to this time can seem like a much larger hindrance than it really is. For example, I have been so busy all week and I'm so very looking forward to a relaxing weekend...oh wait never mind I agreed to do a student film and it's going to take up my whole weekend. There will be no downtime. Here's where I've had to keep myself from falling into a trap of putting to high a priority on my downtime. I love making movies, it's what I'm passionate about, so something is not quite right if I feel like my time spent doing mindless activities takes precedent over the thing I'm most passionate about. So I've had to re-access my priorities here, especially this semester, because if I want to be in film I have to be fully committed. Often times that is going to mean that I have to sacrifice quiet alone time for busier schedules. However, I do say that it is still important to be able to take some time as an artist to disconnect and I will always allow myself mental health days no matter how busy I may become.