Artists Break or Breaking Point:

Well, another late one coming at ya....sorry again for my tardiness on this post, I have been quite busy with oh so many film projects that I just seem to neglect some of my duties in the process. The reason I titled this post the way I did is because I feel like the moments in between the work are the moments that truly challenge the artist the most. Because these moments can be healthy breaks that allow for the clearing of the mind and problems long enough to clear the annoyances that may hinder. Or they can be unhealthy if abused or even misused or under appreciated. The issue for me is as I mentioned in class Monday; I can't seem to fully enjoy my downtime, yet I still take advantage of it by using the time as a release to just do something that can be mindlessly entertaining. More often than not though I find myself feeling guilty that I've spent so much time devoted to nothingness and the lack of productivity makes me feel like I have wasted so much time that I won't be able to get back or make up for. Now, this may seem to be a bit harsh, but I can't seem to allow myself to completely enjoy this time because deep down I know that I really should be a little more productive and not put off responsibilities. I have gotten better about allotting the right amount of time for both business and play, but more often than not I feel as if I allow the playtime to take on a certain fleeting feeling that makes it seem so very precious that any interruption to this time can seem like a much larger hindrance than it really is. For example, I have been so busy all week and I'm so very looking forward to a relaxing weekend...oh wait never mind I agreed to do a student film and it's going to take up my whole weekend. There will be no downtime. Here's where I've had to keep myself from falling into a trap of putting to high a priority on my downtime. I love making movies, it's what I'm passionate about, so something is not quite right if I feel like my time spent doing mindless activities takes precedent over the thing I'm most passionate about. So I've had to re-access my priorities here, especially this semester, because if I want to be in film I have to be fully committed. Often times that is going to mean that I have to sacrifice quiet alone time for busier schedules. However, I do say that it is still important to be able to take some time as an artist to disconnect and I will always allow myself mental health days no matter how busy I may become.